3 moms are sitting at a bar…

You probably thought there was a joke in there somewhere, but this is a true story.

But let me start by saying this: college is so different these days.

I’m currently in Tallahassee for my daughter Maggie’s college orientation at Florida State, where she’ll be starting in the fall.

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t something they offered, back when I was going to school. Or, if they did, my own parents just ignored it, because when the time came for me to start college, they put me on a plane and wished me luck. That was it.

But here at FSU, we have three days of bonding activities and Q&A sessions and meetings with advisors to help your kids choose the right classes.

Suffice to say, I feel very prepared.

For this orientation experience, the students stay overnight together in the dorms, while the parents have to find their own accommodation at a nearby hotel. 

And this requirement is how last night I found myself sitting alone at the hotel bar, drinking my glass of cabernet and eating my steak, while chatting with two other random moms who also happened to be eating their dinner at the bar.

Both were in town for business, and we were each at different stages of motherhood and marriage.

Mom #1 had been married for more than 30 years, and had grown children and now grandchildren who were clearly the light of her life. She had reached the promised land.

Mom #2 was newly married and had just left her 18-month old for the first time, which meant she was mostly happy just to be having an adult conversation and eating a dinner that didn’t involve chicken nuggets or picking up cheerios off the floor.

And then there was me, married for 18 years and a Mom to two teenage girls, which means on any given day I’m honestly not sure which version of my girls I’m going to get. 

At first the conversation was light. We laughed a lot about kids and husbands and the silly things they do that drive us a little bit crazy.

But then Mom #2 got serious.

“How do you make it all work?” she asked. “How do you juggle being a mom with pursuing a career, and not feel like you’re always failing at something?”

Ah, the age-old question, right?

And this was all I could tell her.

You don’t make it all work.

At any given moment, something usually has to give.

If you’re killing it at work, you’re probably falling behind at home. Your house is a mess and the laundry is piled up in the corner and you haven’t made a home-cooked meal in weeks.

If you’re focused on your family, you’re probably letting things slip at work. 

If you choose to spend the weekend having fun with family and friends instead of prepping for the week ahead, your whole week will probably feel like chaos.

Because there are only so many hours in the day, and none of us can actually do it all.

And that doesn’t mean you’re failing. 

It means you’re choosing something different right now.

And at any given moment, you have the ability and the right to make different choices—the choices that matter most to you at that point in time. That means sometimes you’ll choose work, and sometimes you’ll choose spending time with friends, and sometimes you’ll choose tackling that laundry pile.

The key is to not let yourself feel guilty about whatever it is you didn’t choose.

Because you can’t choose it all.

P.K. Subban said, “Life is a chess match. Every decision you make has a consequence.” Along those lines, Martha Beck wisely noted that “every day brings new choices.”

In other words? Make sure you’re actually choosing what you want.

I think sometimes we forget that we’re not passive observers in our own life. We always have the ability to choose. It’s just that sometimes we don’t like the consequences of that choice. We don’t want to recognize the fact that saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else.

So I guess that’s my challenge for you this week—to ask yourself this one essential question: Are you choosing what you want right now? And what are you willing to let go of, at least for now, in order to have it?

I’d love to hear your answer, so feel free to hit reply to this email and let me know!

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week!

xoxo, Ruth

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here’s the recipe I shared this past week:

The latest from my Instagram…

Instagram is my jam! If you’re there too, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup or @ruthsoukupbiz for online business tips!

What’s Happening Around RSO…