When your confidence gets shook

Two years and 7 weeks ago, on June 1st, 2022, I launched a whole new company called Thinlicious.

Truth be told, I needed another business like I needed a hole in my head.

But finally losing more than 40 pounds, after struggling with my weight for SO many years, and stumbling upon what felt like the most amazing secret, changed my perspective in a way that is really hard to explain, even now.

And if you’ve struggled with this piece of your life—with feeling unhappy or uncomfortable in your own body, or feeling like you’ve tried everything in your power to get a handle on your weight, then you probably understand what I’m talking about: that deep frustration and the pain that never really goes away.

You try to wear flattering clothes. You invest in lots of Spanx. You focus on makeup and purses and cute shoes. You tell yourself it’s not that bad.

And at the same time, you go on diet after diet, making yourself miserable, hoping against hope that something will finally work.

And that was my struggle. For years and years and years.

I never talked about it. I was too embarrassed to admit it. Too ashamed that I couldn’t seem to fix it.

But all the while I was building my business, helping women create better home systems at LWSL and helping entrepreneurs build successful businesses through Elite Blog Academy, and inspiring people to overcome fear through Do It Scared, I was also fighting this silent, lonely battle with my weight.

And that’s why, when I finally figured out what actually worked, I just wanted to share it.

I couldn’t help myself. How could I not share it?

It’s where my heart was.

And so I jumped in, feet first.

Of course, hindsight is always 20/20, and looking back, I realize some things now that I didn’t really consider in the midst of all my enthusiasm.

First, in June 2022 we were coming off of three of the best years we’d ever had in our business. I realize now that those very good years had a lot to do with the pandemic, and the fact that everyone was spending so much time online.

But business was really good, and I felt SO confident.

Second, I forgot just how hard it is to start a whole new business from scratch. How long it actually takes to figure out the right messaging and to nail down the right product and to build a solid customer base. How much time and energy and money you actually have to invest before you’ll see the return on that investment.

I was so excited about it, I just thought everyone else would be too.

And so looking back, I was pretty naive.

Because it was hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. So much harder than I would’ve ever believed if someone had tried to warn me.

In the past two years, I’ve worked more hours, endured more sleepless nights, and cried more tears of frustration than probably all my other years of business combined. I’ve second-guessed myself and my decisions, and worried about how I’ll continue paying my team.

It has shaken my confidence to the core.

And it’s not that I’m not still passionate about helping women lose weight and get healthy.

If anything, I’m even MORE passionate about it.

I honestly don’t know how I would’ve survived the stress of the past two years without having my physical health totally dialed in. It has been my saving grace.

It’s the reason I have enough energy to keep going.

And the fact that we’re actually helping women transform their lives—to not just lose the weight, but to get off medication and transform their health and find a whole new sense of purpose and confidence that they didn’t have before…

There’s nothing like that. It motivates me every single day.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not also really hard.

So why am I sharing this today, something that feels so raw and personal that I might just end up deleting this whole letter rather than allowing myself to be this vulnerable?

I guess for a couple of reasons:

1. First, I think it’s important to understand that most of the time we don’t get to see the hard parts of people’s journey. Typically, what we see is the highlight reel. We see the triumphs and the victories, not the struggle and the risk. But that’s never the whole story.
   
   And that’s unfortunate, because it makes us believe that success is supposed to be easy, or that some people are just lucky. But I promise you, that’s not true. It’s not easy to talk about the hard parts, about the fear or the frustration. It’s not easy to admit that sometimes you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.
   

2. Second, because I think it’s important to realize that anything you really want that’s worth having or worth doing is probably going to be really hard at some point. 
   
   And it doesn’t matter if it’s starting a business, or deciding to get healthy, or something else. You might start out feeling totally enthusiastic and confident, but chances are there will be a point where it starts to feel hard, or your confidence gets shook.There will be a moment where you wonder whether all the effort is actually worth it.

The question is, what are you going to do then? Will you keep going? Will you dare to push through the hard or will you throw in the towel? Will you choose to keep believing in yourself and your dream?

One of my favorite quotes is from Jimmy Dugan (played by Tom Hanks) in A League of Their Own, when he says, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.”

Along those same lines, Vince Lombardi once said, “the difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but a lack of will.”

In other words? You have to want it more than you’re scared of it. 

And I guess that’s my challenge for you this week. Whatever you are pursuing right now, or wanting to pursue, don’t set yourself up for failure by thinking that it’s all supposed to be sunshine and rainbows. It’s not. At some point, it will feel hard. And that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it means you’re doing something right. So dig deep. Develop the mental toughness, the fortitude and the grit to keep going. And don’t quit.

Because that’s how you get what you want.

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. I always LOVE hearing back from you! Feel free to hit reply to this email to let me know how I can encourage you this week!

P.P.S. If you missed the last one, I’m hosting one more LIVE training workshop on Thursday called Ditch the Diet: 3 Secrets for Sustainable Weight Loss That No One Is Talking About. This will be my last live workshop for a little while, so if you’ve been wanting to make one, this is your chance! Again, it’s free to join, but you do have to register, which you can do HERE.

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