What my daughter taught me about myself

My oldest daughter Maggie graduated from high school on Friday.

I wasn’t quite sure how I’d feel about it, whether it would make me sad or emotional, but as I watched her walk across that stage and read through all her accomplishments listed on the program in front of me—many that I didn’t even know about—all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of pride.

Because this was truly HER accomplishment, not mine.

Her determination, her resilience, and her drive.

You see, Maggie has always been fiercely independent.

And I’ll be honest, as a mom, sometimes that has hurt my feelings a little bit.

I always dreamed of having a daughter, and the moment she was born, when the doctor put her in my arms and told me it was a girl, I cried tears of joy.

I imagined all the heart-to-heart talks we’d share, the secret jokes, the fun mother-daughter shopping trips and spa days we’d have together. I’d teach her how to cook and she’d tell me about boys and all the teen girl drama, and ask for my advice on all the things. 

But that’s not exactly how it’s been.

And I think it has taken me 17 years to not only realize that’s okay, but that her independence and absolute insistence on figuring things out for herself is actually a really good thing.

Halfway through her freshman year, she begged my husband and I to let her transfer to a different high school when she realized she wasn’t being challenged enough. 

It was 100 percent her decision, and it wasn’t easy.

She came into the new school with a pretty significant deficit, which meant she had to work like crazy to catch up. So she did, all on her own. In four years of high school, we never once had to ask her about homework or whether she had studied for a test.

When we offered to help, she always said no. She could do it.

She consistently challenged herself with the hardest classes, even during her senior year when everyone, including me, advised her to take it easy.

But all her effort paid off big. She overcame the rough start & graduated Summa Cum Laude, with a 4.09 GPA. She earned a Bright Futures Academic Scholarship, which gave her a full ride to any Florida School. She earned the President’s Award for Educational Excellence and was a member of the National Honor Society. She also earned a Vires Scholarship to Florida State University, where she will be studying Biology as part of a pre-med focus.

And that was on top of being a varsity cheerleader for three years, which is basically a full-time job. Not only do they practice year-round, they do an insane amount of volunteer work. When all was said & done, she had more than 400 volunteer hours.

Even at the end of her senior year, right when cheer was finally done and she could have just enjoyed the last few months of school without daily practice, she joined the tennis team, despite having never played (also against our advice.) She ended up winning the King’s award.

So yep, I’m probably gushing a little bit, but I’m a pretty proud mama. 

But not for the reason you might think.

Yes, I’m proud of her accomplishments, but I’m more proud of who she IS.

The kind of woman who knows who she is and what she wants, and isn’t afraid to go for it, even if other people don’t get it, and is also willing to work as hard as she needs to without anyone pushing her or telling her to.

That’s a quality we can all learn from.

Maggie didn’t tell us she won all those awards, just like she didn’t tell us she had a date to prom. (Not gonna lie, that one stung a little bit.)

But she didn’t need our validation because she wasn’t doing it for us.

She was doing it for her.

And in the end, that’s why I’m not worried about her. I know she’ll do well. 

I also know she’ll probably also have to make some mistakes and learn some things the hard way. And we’ll always be there to help her pick up the pieces if she needs us to.

But something tells me she’ll insist on figuring it out herself.

Because that’s who she is.

And honestly, it inspires me.

E.E. Cummings once wrote, “the hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else.” Along those same lines, Jim Rohn explained, “the best motivation is self-motivation.”

In other words? No one can do it for you.

If you’re waiting for validation, or for permission, or for someone else to motivate or inspire you to get moving and actually make the changes in your life that you want to see, then you’re probably going to be waiting for a long time.

Because the only real way to effect lasting change and create real results in your life is to get clear about what you want, and then do what you need to do to actually make it happen.

And so, my challenge for you this week is to DO THE THING. Whatever it is, whatever you’ve been waiting for, whatever you’ve been holding back on. You don’t need permission, you need action. So get out there. And do it. Because you’re worth it.

Then hit reply to this email and tell me what it is! I’d love to cheer you on!

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week.

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. Looking for something to inspire you? My friend Jennifer Roskamp over at the Intentional Mom is hosting a FREE event called the Simplify Your Summer Online Summit, and I’m excited to be one of the 30 speakers who will be sharing tips and resources to help to make this summer one you’ll feel good about. It kicks off next week Tuesday, and again, it’s free, but you do have to register, which you can do HERE.

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here’s the recipe I shared this past week:

The latest from my Instagram…

Instagram is my jam! If you’re there too, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup or @ruthsoukupbiz for online business tips!

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