The harshest critics

Next month will mark 14 years since I first ventured into this crazy virtual space we call the internet.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this putting myself out there online, it’s the vital life skill of developing a very thick skin.

Just last week, I received a response to this very newsletter, in which the sender clearly intended to hit “forward” and not “reply,” but it made me chuckle all the same.

Good to know that at least my content isn’t bad. 

When I first started blogging, all those years ago, I spent a fair amount of time writing about coupons and how to use them to score the best deals at the grocery store. (Some of you OGs probably remember those days!)

Then the show “Extreme Couponing” came out on TLC and I was so appalled at how they were portraying people who use coupons, that I decided to make a YouTube video called “Extreme Couponing for Normal People.”

But what you need to understand is at the time, I was terrified of video. Literally terrified. I hated my voice and was so incredibly self-conscious that I wouldn’t even let my husband take home videos of me with our kids.

But I was so outraged by that ridiculous show that I decided to make a video anyway, showing people what normal people who use coupons look like at the grocery store.

Friend, would you believe it? That dumb video went viral.

And let me just tell you, out of all the places on the Internet, YouTube may be the most brutal.

They mocked and criticized everything about me. How I talked. The ugly headband I was wearing. That I said “um” way too much. How I smiled and laughed. That I let my toddler stand up in the grocery cart.

Pretty much every bad thought I had about myself was right there in the comments, for everyone to see. It was all my worst fears come true.

And yet, I survived.

Not only that, it was basically a graduate-level training in learning how to ignore the haters.

But you know what else?

That silly YouTube video ended up opening a lot of doors.

Because a few months later, I got asked to appear on our local TV news. And had I not started making my own YouTube videos, I would’ve never dared say yes to live TV.

But that one-time appearance turned into a regular gig—I became the WINK News Money Saving Expert.

And that title is what helped me secure a book deal with a major publisher.

And that book deal is what made me a New York Times bestselling author, which in turn opened up so many other doors.

Isn’t it funny how life works?

So why am I sharing this story today? I guess I have a few reasons.

1. As I write this, I’m on a plane to Mexico with my two girls, where I’ll be speaking at a business conference in front of them for the first time. I’ve never been more nervous, mostly because there are no harsher critics than teenage daughters. I think maybe I just needed to remind myself that I’ve already survived plenty of criticism, and I will be fine.

2. I think it’s a good reminder to all of us that often the only way to actually achieve your goals is to stop worrying about what anyone else thinks or says, and just do it scared. 

3. You never know what might come from the risks you take, but you’ll never have an opportunity to know unless you actually take the chance.

One of my very favorite quotes comes from Teddy Roosevelt, who said:

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood….who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Along those same lines, Aristotle once said, “there is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

In other words? There is a fate much worse than experiencing the sting of criticism.

It’s never seeing what could have been.

In the fourteen years since starting my business, I’ve had the amazing privilege of impacting thousands of lives, in many different ways, whether it’s getting organized at home, starting a successful business, or, most recently, helping women lose weight and get healthy for life.

And to me, that’s worth the sting of a little criticism.

That’s also why my challenge for you this week is to think about that thing you’ve been afraid to do because you’re afraid of what people might think or say. Where are you holding yourself back, for fear that you might be criticized? 

Because here’s the truth: You’ll probably be criticized either way, so you might as well take the chance on yourself.

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. As always, I love hearing back from you—feel free to hit reply to this email to share your thoughts. I read every reply and I do my best to always write back!

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here’s the recipe I shared this past week:

The latest from my Instagram…

Instagram is my jam! If you’re there too, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup or @ruthsoukupbiz for online business tips!

What’s Happening Around RSO…