My favorite Christmas tradition

At this very moment, I’m knee-deep in party preparation, because tomorrow is our annual Christmas Eve brunch.

Every year on Christmas Eve, we throw open our doors and invite basically everyone we know within a 50-mile radius. There are silly games and way too much food plus mimosas and some friendly competition (with prizes, of course!), and usually a whole lot of chaos.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Over the last six years, it has become one of my very favorite Christmas traditions, and every year I keep trying to figure out how I can outdo the year before.

It started about six years ago, sort-of on a whim. It was 2020, and we had spent the year “sheltering in place” because of the pandemic, which actually ended up being the perfect excuse to get to know all our neighbors.

So at the last minute, we decided to throw out an invite for Christmas Eve brunch, fully expecting that everyone would say no because they already had plans.

But as it turns out, almost no one makes plans on Christmas Eve during the day. Everyone has stuff going on Christmas Eve night, but the daytime is wide open.

So almost everyone came.

And it was a blast.

So we did it again the next year. And a new tradition was born.

And to me, it’s actually kind-of perfect, because for my husband Chuck, growing up in Chicago, Christmas Eve was THE day in his family. Not Christmas Day—Christmas Eve. Every year, his whole extended family would gather together, starting at noon. Cousins, aunts, uncles, everyone. They'd play games, eat way too much food, and just be together. 

When Chuck and I first started dating, I got to experience a few of those Christmas Eves, and I absolutely loved them. To me, Christmas has always been about family coming together in one big, noisy, chaotic gathering. It felt like exactly what the holidays were supposed to be.

And then we moved to Florida.

No family nearby. No big gatherings. Just the four of us.

And for the first few years, I remember feeling this real sense of loss and sadness that it was just us.

But at some point, when my girls were still little, I realized that if we wanted the holidays to feel full and meaningful—if we wanted them to be filled with love and people and memories—we were going to have to create that ourselves. On purpose.

So we did.

Because here's what I've realized over the years. The kind of connection we all crave—the kind of life that feels full and rich and surrounded by people we love—doesn't just magically happen.

You have to create it.

You have to send the text. Extend the invitation. Open the door. Show up first.

Maya Angelou once said, "I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver." Along those same lines, Rosaria Butterfield wrote, "Hospitality is making your home a place where strangers become neighbors and neighbors become family."

In other words? If you want love and friendship and connection in your life, you have to go first.

That's why we’ll keep doing this every year, even though it's a ton of work. 

Because I honestly can't imagine the holidays without it. Because this home—this life—is meant to be a place where people gather and feel welcome and feel loved. It's not just something we do. It feels like what we're called to do.

And I want my girls to see it too.

I want them to grow up watching what it looks like to be the inviter, not just the invitee. To open your door even when your house isn't perfectly clean. To choose people over perfection. To create space for connection instead of waiting for someone else to do it.

So here's my challenge for you this week: go first.

Invite someone over. Send the text. Start a tradition—or keep one going. It doesn't have to be fancy or perfect. It just has to be intentional.

Because the holidays aren't really about what's under the tree.

They're about who's around it.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a wonderful Christmas!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. I'd love to hear from you—hit reply and tell me about one of your own holiday traditions that you love (or one you want to start).

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