When it’s time to figure out the next phase of your life

My oldest daughter Maggie is a senior in high school this year.

If you've already been through that with your kids, I probably don’t have to tell you—senior year is a whole thing.

(If you’re not there yet, all I can say is buckle up!)

It’s basically an endless stream of extra things to do—first prepping for the SAT and the ACT, then endless college applications and struggling to write the perfect meaningful essay about your life experiences when you haven’t actually experienced much of anything just yet, and trying to figure out how to log on to the portal and fill out the FAFSA and find 3 forms of documentation to verify your state residency.

There’s the Senior Trip and Senior Breakfasts and Senior Night for every sport. 

And this might only be a girl thing, but then there’s the photos and the outfits for the photos and choosing the right “non-ugly” baby photos for the heartfelt full-page ad in the back of the yearbook and then more photos because the first ones “weren’t that good” and then trying to choose the right photo for the graduation announcement, which technically should’ve already been ordered but hasn’t been because someone still hasn’t picked out the photo.

Suffice to say, it’s an exhausting process.

But the most exhausting part of all, at least in our house, has been the Big Decision.

What happens next?

Because senior year won’t last forever.

Soon she’s going to have to figure out what the next phase of her life is going to look like. 

And that’s not easy when you’re only 17. 

But honestly, it’s not that easy at any age.

Because let me tell you, I talk to so many midlife women every single day who are struggling to figure out their next phase of life. 

And maybe that’s where you’re at right now too.

Maybe you feel like you’ve spent your whole adult life focused on raising their family or on pursuing your career, but you’re suddenly realizing it’s time to focus on something new, and yet you don’t really know what that new thing should be.

Maybe you feel like you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way and you want to get it back.

Maybe you just want to want something, but you don’t even know where to start.

If so, there’s always three big things I recommend:

1. Journal like crazy! Get yourself a cute notebook and ask yourself the same two questions every single day for the next month—”what do I want” and “what will it take to get there.” The reason you need to do it daily for a whole month is because these are not easy questions. It will take time and repetition and many tries before you really start to get to the heart of it. But keep asking.

2. Try some new things. Take a class. Volunteer. Learn a new skill. Put yourself out there. Do it intentionally, but do it without any expectations or even any pressure to be good at it. Your goal is simply to see what piques your interest. Sometimes just freeing yourself from the expectation that whatever you try has to be “the thing” can make the process more enjoyable.

3. Get connected. Reconnect with old friends or find some new ones who are in the same stage of life. Many women need to process by talking to other women, and it’s often amazing the amount of insight you can get. Maybe it’s time to plan a girls night!

The thing NOT to do is nothing. Don’t push down the feelings, or try to ignore them. Be okay with the unknown right now, but also give yourself space to explore.

Mary Shelley once wrote, “the beginning is always today.” Along those same lines, Andy Warhol once said, “they say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”

In other words? It’s up to you to choose your next phase. No one can do it for you.

And so, my challenge for you this week, if you’ve been struggling with this very thing, is to go get yourself a journal and start asking yourself those two big questions—what do I want, and what will it take to get there. Journal on it daily for at least a month. And then let me know what you discover.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a great week!

xoxo, Ruth

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here are the recipes I shared this past week:

The latest from my Instagram…

One of my goals this year is to be more consistent on social media, so I’ve committed to sharing at least one post a day on Instagram. If you’re there, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup

What’s Happening Around RSO…