What no one sees when you’re the strong one

I’ve spent most of this past week in full-on “deep thinking” mode—writing three massive strategy documents for some big new projects we're planning to roll out over the next few months, after nailing down our big picture plan during our team retreat a couple of weeks ago. 

And when I say massive, I mean each one was basically the size of a small book—all the various details and moving pieces of each project, thought through and put together into a cohesive plan that my team and I can execute.

It’s work I enjoy, but it’s also the kind of work that requires total focus.

And in my dream scenario, I’d get to lock myself up in a hotel room for a week, turn off all my notifications, and just order room service when I got hungry.

But alas, life doesn’t really work that way.

So I got it done, despite all the distractions. 

Because that's what you do, right?

You show up. You figure it out. You carry the pressure. You make the plan. That's your job—as a mom, as a wife, as a leader. You hold it all together.

And to be honest, most of the time, I'm okay with that. It's how I'm wired.

But by Friday, after a long week and a few emotional landmines I won't get into, it all started to feel like too much. 

Not in a dramatic, everything-is-falling-apart kind of way. Just… heavy.

(Teenagers can have that effect sometimes.)

I was feeling defeated. And exhausted. And a little unappreciated. 

And very much alone.

So I called my sister.

Since normally we always text before calling, she picked up right away, knowing something must be wrong. 

And the truth is that I didn't need her to fix it. I just needed someone to care. 

And she did.

She listened. She let me vent. She reminded me—without saying it directly—that I'm not crazy for feeling the weight of things. That I'm not weak for being tired. That I don't have to explain why it's hard.

And after that call, I could breathe again. Not because the stress was gone, but because I didn't feel quite so alone in it anymore.

The truth is, sometimes the people who look like they've got it all together are the ones who need the most support.

Bob Marley once noted that "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." Along those same lines, someone else once wisely said, "Just because someone carries it well doesn't mean it isn't heavy." 

In other words? Strength isn't about never breaking. It's about continuing to show up while you're still holding the pieces together.

What no one sees about being the strong one is how isolating it can be. You're the one people count on. The one who keeps the ship afloat. The one who doesn't get the luxury of falling apart, because everyone is depending on you.

And sometimes other people take that for granted.

But holding it all together doesn't mean you don’t have feelings. And staying positive doesn't mean you don’t also sometimes feel exhausted.

All that to say, if you're in a season where the weight of everything you’re working on or trying to hold together feels heavier than usual—where the plans are big, the deadlines are tight, the pressure is real, and the demands never stop—I see you.

And if no one's said it lately: 

You're doing an incredible job. 

Even when it feels invisible. (Especially then!)

So my challenge for you this week? Check in with someone who's always the strong one. A simple "thinking about you" text can mean more than you know.

And if you're the one carrying the weight right now? Let someone in. You don't have to explain or fix anything. Just reach out.

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week.

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. If this one hit home, would you let me know? Just hit reply and tell me one thing you wish people understood about where you're at right now. I'd love to hear from you.

This week’s podcast episodes…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

The latest from my Instagram…

Instagram is my jam! If you’re there too, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup or @ruthsoukupbiz for online business tips!