Like most couples, my husband Chuck and I have an unspoken division of labor in our house.

He handles all the “boy jobs,” as I call them—home maintenance, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, while I’m in charge of the “girl jobs”—meal planning, cooking dinner, managing our schedule and social calendar.

But because he’s been the stay-at-home dad for the past 12 years, while I’ve been the breadwinner, he’s also been in charge of things like laundry and shuttling the kids around.

And somewhere along the way, he was also put in charge of all the financial stuff—paying the bills, sorting the mail, prepping our taxes, negotiating insurance rates—basically all those things that literally make my brain go numb.

It’s a job he hates. Honestly, we both do. (Who doesn’t?!)

And because there is always plenty of OTHER stuff to keep him busy, it’s always the job that tends to be put off and procrastinated until it’s practically an emergency.

Our “home office” desk is located in a forgotten corner upstairs, where we can just throw the piles of mail that come in with every intention of getting to them… eventually.

But out of sight, out of mind, right?

Which is exactly how we found ourselves this past weekend staring at a literal MOUNTAIN of unopened mail—almost 6 months worth.

Bills. Financial statements. W-2s and 1099s. And junk mail. So much junk mail.

And while the messy desk haunting us from the corner isn’t my favorite thing to look at, I’m also the kind of person who can put it in an imaginary box and just ignore it, pretty much indefinitely. After all, it’s not my thing to worry about.

But what I didn’t realize is that for Chuck, the stress of dealing with that overwhelming pile of paperwork had been quietly building for months.

He hadn't really said much, but I could feel it. He'd make comments about needing to get organized, or needing to get the taxes done, but there always seemed to be some other task that felt much more urgent. 

I recognized the dance—it's the same one I do when I'm avoiding a task I hate doing.

But on Friday morning, when he finally admitted he hadn’t been sleeping well because the anxiety had reached a breaking point, I knew it was time.

So I said, "Let's just tackle it. Today. Right now. I'll help."

Now, I don't know if you'd call this a “superpower” exactly, but there is an obsessive side of me, a dogged determination that kicks in when I need it to. 

When I decide something needs to get done, it WILL get done. I won’t stop until I’ve finished.

And while that trait sometimes drives Chuck absolutely crazy, he also knows it's the thing that makes hard stuff move forward.

And so, for the next two full days—TWO ENTIRE DAYS—we did nothing but sort, shred, file, and organize what felt like a decade of paperwork. It was tedious. It was unglamorous. It was frustrating and annoying and made me want to gouge my eyes out more than once.

At one point, I found myself sitting at our dining room table surrounded by two years worth of paper, trying to piece together all the income and expenses from our rental properties, wondering how we had let things get so out of control. We wanted to quit, more than once.

But we knew if we didn’t get it done, we’d lose all the progress we had made.

So we kept going. One file at a time. One decision at a time. One hour at a time.

And now?

It's finally done. Every piece of mail has been opened. Every piece of paper has been sorted. Our tax documents are ready to send to the accountant.

And it feels AMAZING. Like a load has been lifted.

So why am I sharing this with you today?

Well… there are a few reasons.

Because over the course of those two very long, very tedious days, I was reminded of a few important truths that I think we all need to hear sometimes:

1. Avoidance is a stress multiplier. The longer you put something off, the heavier it gets. Half the burden isn't the task itself—it's carrying the mental load of knowing it's still looming. Every time you walk past that thing you're avoiding, it sucks a little bit of energy from you. It's like having a tiny energy vampire living in your house.

2. Progress isn't always pretty. Sometimes it looks like a living room full of paper piles, missing receipts, and endless scanning. Sometimes it looks like tears of frustration when you can't find that one document you KNOW you had somewhere. The only way through the mess… is through it. There are no shortcuts, just the willingness to get your hands dirty.

3. Every good partnership needs opposite strengths. I'm the obsessive one. He's the calm one. I push. He steadies. I make giant sweeping decisions about entire categories of paper while he meticulously reviews every single statement. We drive each other a little bit crazy, but we also get things done—together. And there's something beautiful about that balance.

4. You don't need motivation—you need movement. We didn't feel like doing the paperwork. Not for one single second. We just started. And once we started, momentum took over. The first hour was the hardest. The second hour was a little easier. By hour five, we were in a weird paper-sorting zen state that I can't fully explain.

Arthur Ashe once said, "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." Along those same lines, William James noted that "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."

In other words? The magic doesn't happen when the stars align. It happens when you decide you've had enough of feeling stuck and you take that first small step forward, even when—ESPECIALLY when—you don't feel like it.

And so, my challenge for you this week is this: Pick the ONE thing you've been avoiding. You know the one. The pile. The email. The drawer. The phone call. The boundary. The difficult conversation. The decision. Whatever it is, pick a day. Set a timer. Tackle it.

It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't even have to be finished in one go. It just has to be in motion. Because once you start moving, something shifts. The weight begins to lift. And suddenly, what seemed impossible becomes… well, just a thing you're doing.

Live with purpose, friend, and have an amazing week!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. Do you and your spouse have totally opposite superpowers too? Tell me I'm not the only one. Or just hit reply and let me know what you're finally going to stop avoiding this week—I'd love to hear from you!

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here’s the recipes I shared last week:

The latest from my Instagram…

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