When there’s only one thing you can control...

Happy New Year, friend!

Yesterday  was my first “official” day back to work after taking off for the holidays, and there’s always a part of me that never feels quite ready to get back into the swing of all things work-related.

Truthfully, there’s nothing I love more than just being at home.

Last week my youngest daughter told me that maybe this year I should think about joining some sort of club or group to get me out of the house.

“You never leave the house, mom. It’s not healthy. You should join a book club or maybe a roller skating club. I’ve seen that on TikTok. It looks fun.”

“I’m not joining a roller skating club. And I do get out. I go to the grocery store. I volunteer at church. And last weekend Daddy and I went out for dinner with our friends, remember?”

“Mom, if you can remember all the times you’ve left the house in the last month, you’re not getting out enough. And besides, you always make Daddy or me go to the grocery store for you.”

Oof.

And while she’s not wrong, I’m not about to join any clubs or make a bigger effort to get out more.

Because I’ve already got plenty of goals for this year, and none of them involve roller skating.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more clear about what I want for my life and my business, or the steps I’ll need to take to get there.

During my time off, I spent a lot of time mapping it all out—my health goals, my business priorities, and that “Mama Mentoring Plan” I told you about a few weeks ago. 

I also blocked out my entire calendar for the year (yes, the ENTIRE year—every training, every deep work session, every vacation day, every morning coffee date with my husband). 

I even bought myself one of those Skylight calendars for Christmas. I thought it would be handy for syncing our family calendars, but the feature I’m most excited about—the ability to set up a chore chart with earned rewards—is one I didn’t even know about until I set it up.

I think it’s probably intended to be used for little kids, but I decided to set it up anyway, since it seemed like it might be a good way to gently motivate my girls to start participating in household responsibilities more regularly, which is part of my mama mentoring plan.

I wasn’t super optimistic that it would actually work.

In fact, I was pretty sure that my teenagers—ages 16 and 19—would think it was ridiculous and childish, or just roll their eyes and ignore it.

But to my surprise, they were both super excited about it, or at least excited about the opportunity to earn rewards that include things they really want and have been asking for. (Like a trip to New York City!)

Of course liking the idea and actually following through on the idea are two different things.

One of my children has fully embraced it. She's earning stars every day, keeping her room clean, and being genuinely and willingly helpful. It's been amazing to watch.

The other one? Not so much. She just can’t seem to get started.

And to be totally honest, I think that's been my hardest lesson these past couple weeks.

Because I’ve got clarity. I’ve got systems. I’ve got plans.

But I can’t control how other people respond. Not even my kids. (Maybe especially my kids!)

It’s the great frustration of life.

You can be wildly intentional, but you can’t control what other people do.

You can spend weeks on a proposal at work, only to have your boss or clients reject it.

You can spend all day cleaning your house, then immediately find out that your dogs have tracked mud all over the floor.

You can make a delicious healthy dinner, yet find out that your husband stopped for fast food on the way home. 

You can pour your heart into creating a product, then have no one want to buy it.

Because people don’t always respond exactly the way you want them to.

Not your kids. Not your spouse. Not your team. Not your clients.

You can create the plan. You can show up with clarity and consistency. You can build the systems and hold the vision.

But what they do with it? That's not actually yours to carry.

Philosopher Alan Watts once said "you are not responsible for the versions of you that exist in other people's minds." Along those same lines, Richelle Goodrich noted that "the sign of a good leader is not how well things go when everyone's on board, but how she responds when they're not."

In other words? The only thing you can control is you, and how you choose to respond.

So that’s what I’m focused on right now—the effort that I put in, not the outcome that I have no control over.

And I guess that’s my challenge for you this week too, as we head into a brand new year. 

Pick one area where you're ready to be intentional—and also ready to surrender the outcome.

Show up. Make the plan. Do the work.

And then? Let go of whether people respond the way you want them to.

Your effort is enough. And so are you.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a joy-filled week!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. I'd love to know—what's one area where you're trying to be more intentional this year? Just hit reply and tell me. I read every response!

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