A few weeks ago, my husband Chuck and I came up with what we thought was a brilliant idea for encouraging our daughter Annie to learn how to cook.

It started the day we were back from our cruise. We were still in vacation mode, somehow both exhausted despite the fact (or maybe because of the fact) that we had just spent a week doing basically nothing. But we were both struggling to find the motivation to do much of anything beyond lay in bed watching random TikTok videos. 

So Annie offered to bring us dinner in bed.

“I’m going to make you a 3-course meal–appetizer, dinner, and dessert. It will be a surprise—you just stay here.”

While it was a nice gesture, we both wondered what on earth she would actually make, between her limited cooking skills and the fact that we hadn’t been to the grocery store in a week.

But somehow, she pulled it together—homemade guacamole and chips as an appetizer, turkey and cheese sandwiches for the main course, and a strawberry milkshake for dessert.

We were pleasantly surprised. And as we sat there, a plan was born.

“What if we had Annie start cooking dinner a few days a week?” Chuck asked.

I was immediately skeptical. Dinner is my thing. I like to cook. And I also like good food.

“I don’t know babe, it feels like a disaster in the making. What makes you think she would even want to do that?”

“Well, she’s been wanting to earn some money, so we could offer to pay her a little bit to cook and clean up afterwards, but we would tell her that she has to learn how to cook a variety of things. You could be around to guide her as needed.”

So we came up with some ground rules.

She’d need to plan her meals in advance and get me a list, since I typically do my meal planning and grocery shopping on Sunday afternoons. She’d have to cook REAL food—no packaged or processed crap—and each meal would need to include some sort of meat or fish based protein. She would also be fully responsible for cleaning up the kitchen afterwards.

Annie loved the idea. She agreed to our terms, and the next day got me her first shopping list.

For the first couple of weeks, she insisted on keeping her meal plans a secret.

“I want to surprise you guys,” she told me.

And she did.

Air fryer chicken cubes and pineapple with rice the first night. Lemon butter cod the next. Chicken tacos with homemade corn and black bean salsa another night. 

At first she didn’t always remember to think about what it takes to put together a complete meal—that your protein might need something on the side to feel complete.

But every meal was an opportunity to help her improve and learn. I’ve shown her how to season things to make them taste good—which spices I like to use for different things, how to whip up a marinade that will actually taste good, and how to use a thermometer to make sure your meat is cooked properly, but not overdone.

I’m always close by in case she has a question, but she has fully taken the lead.

It’s amazing to see how much more confident she’s become in just a couple of weeks. At first she could barely bring herself to touch raw chicken, but now it’s no big deal.

Tonight she’ll be cooking her first steaks.

And this little home-grown experiment has reminded me of a truth that I think is sometimes easy to forget: sometimes people will surprise you if you let them.

I can be a little bit of a control freak, especially when it comes to cooking for my family.

In my mind, it’s how I express my love—by feeding them really good food.

I love it when my kids are excited for dinner and when they want me to cook for their friends. I love that whenever my oldest daughter comes home from college for the weekend, she has a whole list of favorite things she wants me to make. And I secretly love that they never want to go out to eat, because they’d rather eat at home.

But maybe sometimes love is being willing to let go so that someone else can step up.

Buddha once said "The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself and let things take their own natural course." Along those same lines, Laura Doyle once noted that, “receiving is the ultimate act of giving up control.”

In other words? Control is only an illusion.

 The truth is that when we cling to control by insisting that things be a certain way, we often give up opportunities that we might not even know we’re missing.

And so that’s my challenge for you this week—to ask yourself that question: what am I afraid to let go? What is something in your life that you’ve been clinging to, trying to control, unwilling to relinquish the reins? But more importantly, what opportunities could you be missing as a result?

It’s a big question, and there are no easy answers.

But it’s still one worth asking.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a joy-filled week!

xoxo, Ruth

This week’s podcast episode…

What’s cooking in my kitchen…

Here’s the recipe I shared last week:

The latest from my Instagram…

Instagram is my jam! If you’re there too, I’d love to connect with you—find me at @RuthSoukup or @ruthsoukupbiz for online business tips!

ruthsoukup

View more on Instagram